Wow. Never in my life have I embarked on something this big, or courageous. I have always been the one ready to take a step back and let someone else take the lead. I’ve been happy to follow. Leading is scary. Why on earth would I want to be a leader? Leading means taking chances, being “in charge”, being in front of everyone, and most of all, it means you might make mistakes in front of everyone. It’s scary.
Exactly 1 year, 6 months and 17 days ago, my life changed forever. I became the mom of a baby residing in Heaven. I knew from that moment on that my life would never be the same. It took some time after that to realize what I was going to do with this gift (if you know me, you know why I would call this a gift, instead of a curse), and how I would use it to change myself and to help others. From my experience, being forgotten in a lonely, cold ER room, I knew that I had to make a difference for others, and that I had to share the joy I have in Jesus with them. On January 22, 2013, which should have been the day that I held my sweet baby in my arms, Grant and I decided that we would start a memory box program to provide comfort to families. We slowly started talking about starting a support group, but I knew I was no where near ready to start something like that. We looked over different groups, different things that were available, and I knew with who I am and how my thoughts work, I would want to go through an organization, so that I would have some sort of place to start.
Fast forward to about a month ago. I kept having people asking me if I’d heard of Share, and I’d read about them, received information from them, and had really liked what I’d seen. Well, I found out that we had a chapter of The Bereaved Parents in Joplin, and that they were having a candle lighting near the beginning of December. I was talking with one of the leaders of their group, and she too asked me if I’d heard and/or thought of Share. I contacted Share again to ask them when the next training would be, to see if I would be past 18 months (required for bereaved parents to take the training), and they said end of April.
I have officially started fundraising, as of today, for the trip and training. I will be doing an auction in March on Facebook through my Hannah’s Tears page, and I have a GoFundMe page (http://www.gofundme.com/5vxxls) where donations can be made. Anyone who might be interested can contact me or join the group I’ve set up on Facebook for the auction information and contributors (https://www.facebook.com/groups/739110576118114/).